But I think the other one can wait. This is pressing on my mind.I am depressed. Not Can't-get-out-of-bed depressed, but more like sad and quiet depressed. I can still function and act happy and do my laundry and feed myself. But I can't stop thinking about sad things and terrible things that I have done. Like yelling at the Husband for no reason or that time I hit my sister when we were younger. I assure you there are lots more but they mostly run in that vein. It makes me feel small and beaten down.
I would love to go home and crawl into bed, but there are things to be done, livings to be earned and socks to be washed. Maybe part of it is money, I don't know. I hate living this close to the wire, trying to pay for everything and save for the Husband's tuition. I know we aren't really poor, I just think we are. I guess I thought we would be further along at this point.
I just want to snap out of it. I guess this is my way of talking to someone about it, because I don't think I could do that in real life. It just seems so silly! What do I have to be depressed about? But nonetheless there it is. It's looking at me. It wants me to cry. It wants me to give up for a while. I won't do that. I won't let it win.